Wedding Guest Blog Post Groomasaurus The truth about grooms and dancing
Caption Text: Grooms fear you may want them to be this good on the dance floor. Photo courtesy of Dancing With the Stars
Hello everyone. My name is Jeff, and I write a blog called Groomasaurus that gives a guy’s perspective on planning a wedding. I’m also co-owner of My Wedding Workbook, which is online wedding planner software that’s free, easy-to-use and gives brides all the tools they need to manage all their wedding details, including a budget planner and guest list manager. But I’m here today to talk about the oddly complicated scenario at the intersection of dancing, weddings and grooms. I was over at the blog Amorology the other day (who says only women get to stalk bridal blogs), and I happened upon a post about a wedding where the bride and groom wowed the crowd at their reception with some sort of “Dancing with the Stars” swing routine.
I must admit, my first reaction to this wasn’t to smile, or to sigh, or to pine wistfully for our wedding day (I’m getting married in November). Instead, I rolled my eyes, muttered a few unmentionable words under my breath and immediately surfed on over to ESPN.com. I know, I know, this is a pretty catty way to react, but there’s a good reason for it, and here it is. If you’re like most women, when you see a newly married couple cutting a pretty mean rug on the dance floor, you think, "how great would it be if me and my snuggle bug could do that together at our wedding." But your guy is thinking something completely different. If he’s anything like me (and god help you if he is, cause you’re gonna need some patience and a good sense of humor), he’s thinking "good god, now she’s gonna want to do that at our wedding, and I’m not sure I can pull it off." You see, for most guys, the closest we have ever come to structured dance moves is the couple aerobics classes we attended in our early 20s (and, honestly, our main reason for going was to check out women … and yes, we’ve matured considerably since then), and while we were there we got our feet so twisted up that we face-planted about a half-dozen times, ruining the whole premise of why we were there in the first place.
Groomasaurus Gal and I attend an exercise boot camp class three times a week, and on those occasions when we have an aerobics instructor teach the class, I swear I leave with bruised knees (from falling so much) and an inability to tell right from left (all that "lead with your left foot/right foot" stuff seems to scramble my little pea brain). (Quick aside: We’ve discovered that working out together is a great way to get in shape for your wedding, as you keep each other motivated, and there’s nothing like seeing your lovely bride-to-be in a sports bra to get the engine revved up.) Sure, your guy might love to go clubbing, but getting jiggy under a mirror ball and pulling out the tried-and-true "wash-that-laundry-now-hang-it-up" dance move doesn’t count as serious dancing. Plus most guys have an odd perception of what good dancing is anyways, and I’m one of those. For me, the most memorable dance moments I can think of are Michael Jackson at the Motown 25 show in 1983 (may his soul rest in peace), John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever and Napoleon Dynamite doing his thing in moonboots. The first two examples are ultra cool and seemingly untouchable, and the last is cool and fun in a very dorky way. But none of these are very realistic or give guys a sense that we can or should learn to dance.
I guess what I’m saying is that, for most guys, we’ve been set up to fail when it comes to structured dancing; we don’t dislike it as much as we fear it. So if you get some resistance from your guy when you mention taking dance lessons for your wedding, it’s the fear talking, and if he drags his feet and protests like a three-year-old (which we’ve been known to do), then you shouldn’t push him, because he’ll just get more obstinate. However, I think most grooms would do anything for their bride, so if you frame it as something you can experience together, that it doesn’t matter how "good" he is as long you both have fun, then I think he would be more open to the idea. And another thing to think about … I personally think it’s silly for a bride and groom to take dancing lessons up to their wedding day and then drop dancing entirely after that one event. This could be a great shared activity for both of you long after your wedding day, and to put all that time in for one event seems like a waste. I secretly would love to learn how to salsa dance, and maybe when our schedules slow down a bit and I get over my stupid fear-of-dancing hangup we can take lessons together. I honestly think it would be a great alternative to seeing another movie, going bowling or whatever other activity has become a date-night staple. Anyway, that’s my three cents on the matter…
Dancing lessons are a great idea for your wish list or your wedding registry. And I agree with Jeff it is a gift you can continue to do together long after the wedding. Thank you Jeff a very entertaining post. Welcome Jeff as a wedding expert and add him as a friend
I can hear brides-to be cheering everywhere! Yay he secretly wants to learn to dance! My friend dragged her husband to-be kicking and screaming to ballroom dancing lessons. And even thought we made fun of him the entire time (cause yes we are THAT mature) he took the lessons. I have to say he wowed us like no one would ever have guessed on his wedding day! So maybe there is a little dancer in every groom? What do you guys think?
gift girl
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5. July 2009 at 11:25 am :
cool post Jeff!